Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
