When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He shit in the fireplace
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