Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
