just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
