so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
