Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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