One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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