We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
