are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
