; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
