Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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