On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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