I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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