Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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