Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
