I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
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The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
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You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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