1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
