He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
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Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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