she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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