hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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