Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
