I'm really into asian looking animals
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
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