Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
