So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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