Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
