So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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