wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
