I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Drunk is not a location!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
