im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
