Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
