closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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