hotel room ftw
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
