And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
