Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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