I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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