I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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