Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
