she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
