how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
