Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
