Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
