His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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