you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
