dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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