Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
