did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize