Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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