this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
as a side note pls kill me
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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