And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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