clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize