Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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