Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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