i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
