hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We got so high we made milksteak
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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