your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
