where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
